The Navy realized it had too many officers, so it announced a special early-retirement program.
The deal sounded simple:
$1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points on the officer’s body.
Naturally, word spread quickly.
The first officer stepped forward confidently.
“Measure me from the top of my head to my toes.”
The examiner measured him.
Six feet.
Seventy-two inches.
That earned him $72,000.
Everyone watching was impressed.
Then the second officer stepped up.
He had clearly been thinking about this.
“Measure from my fingertips to my toes!”
He stretched himself out as far as possible.
Eight feet.
Ninety-six inches.
The room erupted.
“That’s genius,” someone whispered.
Then a grizzled old Chief walked forward.
He had spent decades in the Navy and looked completely unimpressed by everyone else’s clever ideas.
The pension officer asked, “Chief, where would you like us to measure?”
The Chief smirked.
“From the tip of my weenie… to my testicles.”
The room went silent.
The pension officer tried to talk him out of it.
“Chief, you could choose your height. Your arm span. Anything longer.”
But the Chief insisted.
So a medical officer was called in.
The Chief dropped his pants, and the doctor began the examination.
A few seconds later, the doctor suddenly stopped.
He looked confused.
Then concerned.
Finally, he looked up and asked,
“Uh… Chief… where are your testicles?”
The Chief calmly replied…
“Vietnam.”
